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The Tit-for-Tat List

Guest Post by Marie
Attribution: Photo by puuikibeac

I recently read this great article about “giving being
the secret to getting ahead.” Before you dismiss this
as some sort of new-age fairy dust, this was a column
in the New York times describing the research of
Wharton business professor Adam Grant. The
observations in this article were very interesting
and mostly personal to the very-very-young Ph.D and
his rise to success. But in it was a take-away theme
of his new book “Give and Take” that I have been
thinking about ever since. Let me quote it here:

“Givers give without expectation of immediate gain; they never seem too busy to help, share credit actively and mentor generously. Matchers go through life with a master chit list in mind, giving when they can see how they will get something of equal value back and to people who they think can help them. And takers seek to come out ahead in every exchange; they manage up and are defensive about their turf. Most people surveyed fall into the matcher category — but givers, Grant says, are overrepresented at both ends of the spectrum of success: they are the doormats who go nowhere or burn out, and they are the stars whose giving motivates them or distinguishes them as leaders. Much of Grant’s book sets out to establish the difference between the givers who are exploited and those who end up as models of achievement. The most successful givers, Grant explains, are those who rate high in concern for others but also in self-interest. And they are strategic in their giving — they give to other givers and matchers, so that their work has the maximum desired effect; they are cautious about giving to takers; they give in ways that reinforce their social ties; and they consolidate their giving into chunks, so that the impact is intense enough to be gratifying. (Grant incorporates his field’s findings into his own life with methodical rigor: one reason he meets with students four and a half hours in one day rather than spreading it out over the week is that a study found that consolidating giving yields more happiness.)”

I have noticed this distinction between givers, takers, and matchers throughout my life. Lately, I have also come to the conclusion that it is an artificial distinction created in us by the monetary system with inbuilt scarcity in the construct of how we interrelate to others in almost all of our daily transactions. If I give, that is less for me, right? If I take, I win! Accumulation, the tit-for-tat thinking, and the mental checklist so many keep in their minds is undergirded by a fear of being made the chump, a wound of believing people are out to get the better of you; that people will point their fingers and laugh at you for your naivete. Because all economic life is a competition in our neo-liberal society, we think that this is just simply the way life is supposed to be. It isn’t.

Adam Grant’s research touches on the fact that our basic nature is to give, and that people respond to giving, sometimes in spite of themselves. And the givers themselves want to be free of the tit-for-tat accounting, the fear, the cynicism that comes with treating gifts and givers as commodities. Letting go of the accounting system in our minds is freedom. It feels good and natural to give.

Timebanking is not a perfect giving system, but it is a step in the right direction. The “accounting” takes place outside of your own mind and in Community Weaver, the timebanking software. With use of this software, I find people tend to let the accounting go. At first they record their hours diligently and carefully, but when the relationships are built and the connection strong, people start forgetting to record and giving happens without accounting at all. Timebanking also has the added advantage of being a system that identifies other givers in the community. The element of trust is already there, just by virtue of people taking the time to join a timebank. “Givers enjoy giving to other givers,” says Adam Grant. And when givers offer gifts to other givers, the magic and generosity is multiplied exponentially.

That is the magic of timebanking…trust, giving of gifts, receiving gifts and allowing your community to care for itself in the ebb and flow of living together. I’m working on banishing the tit-for-tat list from my mind through timebanking, and truthfully, it has become a whisper…almost imperceptible.

If you want to discuss the above ideas, Contact Tony

The Four Conversations that Build Community

The Four Conversations that Build Community

2011 – A Guest Post by – Jack Ricchiuto
Based on Instructions from the Cook (2008 DesigningLife Books)

Community is the quality of connections among people who share a common purpose, place, past, or perspective. Building community means building the quality of these connections.

When there are high quality connections in a community, people know each other, share with each other, and engage each other. People know each other’s stories and talents, They share their talents and time with each other. They engage each other in doing together what they cannot do alone.

When we build community, people and organizations move from isolation, fragmentation, and win-lose competition to greater degrees of hospitality, trust, and collaboration.

Not everything that happens in a community builds community. We can build all kinds of commercial and residential developments, education and social institutions in ways that leave people as isolated, fragmented, and competitive as ever.

Community building is not about empires built by people with authority, influence, or wealth. It’s what happens when we have the four conversations that have the power to create deeper and wider connections among people in the community.

Community is about the degree of connection not the scope of consumption. It happens when people move from self-interest to mutual-interest.

 In the Dream Space conversation, we talk about what we would love to be possible in our community 20 years from now. It is a description of what we want rather than speculation about what might be. We dream in order to see the present possibilities more clearly and to create a community of passion. The depth of our passion is always equal to the length of our vision.

In the Small Acts conversation, we talk about what small experiments can move us in the direction of our dreams. These are projects that are possible given the resources and opportunities we have. They are the small acts we can do without permission or validation by the majority in the community. They realize parts of our dreams that are possible in the present. Over time, thousands of small acts in a community make the impossible possible every time.

In the Gifts conversation, we talk about the talents and resources we have at the table. Our gifts are what we are willing to invest without necessarily having return for our investment. They are the gifts that can make our small acts possible. The more we engage our gifts together, the more we can do together what we cannot do alone. The origin of the word “community: is “gifts together.”

In the Invitation conversation, we talk about who else in the community we can invite to join us in our small acts. They are people who have gifts that can make our small acts possible. They are people we know well, people we know of, and people we can be introduced to. They complement our talents and resources in ways that make our weaknesses and deficiencies irrelevant.

There are also four conversations that keep communities stuck. We call these the “shadow” conversations.

In the Problem conversation, we talk about what we don’t like and don’t want. We talk about our complaints and grievances. The problem with problem conversations is that they have no power to help us create a future different from the past. They only have the power to maintain the status quo because they postpone our dreaming and engaging in the small acts to make our dreams more possible.

In the Permissions conversation, we talk about how we can’t take action until we win enough community affirmation and support for our dreams and small acts. The need to have consensus becomes a postponement of our small acts in the short term and dreams in the long term. Small acts by definition do not require the agreement of many, only the actions of a few. The majority may rule, but all great things have always come from the courage of small group.

In the Deficiency conversation, we talk about our weaknesses and constraints. We talk about what we lack instead of what we have to make small acts possible. When we focus on our weaknesses and constraints, we give ourselves excuses for postponing possible actions on our dreams. We make it less possible that we engage the time and talents we have to do what we can to create what we want.

In the Blame conversations, we talk about people whom we hold responsible for our problems, lack of support, weaknesses, and constraints. We blame others in order to maintain our innocence. Blaming, though relieving us of the guilt of responsibility, postpones our dreaming and engaging in making our dreams possible. It maintains our position as victims, denies our gifts, excludes the gifts of others, and effectively maintains the status quo that ultimately becomes the deterioration of the community.

The more we initiate and invite the four conversations that build community, we build connections among people in the community. The success stories we create and tell attract more gifts to the community because people seek communities where positive stories thrive. This is what sustains the renewal and growth of the community.

The conversations need to happen across backyard fences, in public spaces and public meetings. They need to happen in organizations and among leaders in the community. They need to happen wherever people are gathered by mandate, plan, or accident. They need to happen whenever we want to connect people in new ways.

The simple power of these conversations is that anyone can initiate them and invite people into them. It requires no power, position, or permission to invite people into conversations about dreams, small acts, gifts or invitations. Building community is everyone’s possibility the moment we embrace our freedom to do so.

If you want to discuss the above ideas, Contact Tony

Network Weaving

Introduction to Network Weaving
2010 – A Guest Post by – Jack Ricchiuto

One of the ways networks grow is through the growth of network weavers. These are Biz-people-connecting6x4people who generously give time to connecting people in a network. Most networks already have network weavers, though they may not be obvious or named as such.

One of the ways we identify existing weavers is by asking the more engaged and connected people in the network who they go to for new ideas, resources, or support. The people most often mentioned are often the most active weavers in the network. They often do not have high visibility or positional prominence in the network. They may have no formal leadership roles or power over significant decisions that occur in the network.

Network weavers have three common characteristics.

1. They keep up to date with what’s happening in the network. They stay curious about who’s new, who’s doing something new, and who could help others in the network.

2. They are credible in the network. People like them and believe what they say. What gives then credibility is that they are good storytellers and storylisteners, which makes others feel a positive connection with them.

3. They actively introduce people for the purpose of creating new connections of generosity, exchange, or collaboration. They help people get to expand their awareness and reach into the network for idea, resources, and support.

iStock_000001037910SmallThere are no generational or gender restrictions to anyone being a network weaver in a network. Network weavers can either have long tenure in a network or be relatively new to a network.

The number and quality of network weavers can grow in three ways.

1. People spontaneously see what other network weavers are doing, and get inspired to start or develop their own willingness and skill in network weaving.

2. Existing network weavers intentionally encourage and invite others to do the same.

3. Leaders in the network intentionally encourage, invite and support others to start doing more or better network weaving.

Network weaving is a generous commitment of time and energy to connecting people in the network. It is also a very specific craft that can be explicitly learned, taught, practiced, and developed. Learning happens through observation, instruction, mentoring and practice.

Some of the skills involved in network weaving include: engaging people in accidental conversations, asset mapping in networks, making inspiring introductions, storytelling, story listening, and the art of small talk.

The more network weavers grow, the more networks grow, and the more the quality of everyone’s life in a network grows.

If you want to discuss the above ideas, Contact Tony Budak

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Strengthening Communities – The Integrative Potential of Time Banking

Strengthening Communities
The Integrative Potential of Time Banking   ver8.18.13
A Guest Post by Marie Wilson Nelson

Time Bank Mahoning Watershed (https://tbmw.org/) is a community service exchange or “Time Bank,” a collection of people and organizations who connect unused resources with unmet needs. Time Bank Mahoning Watershed is part of an international social change movement grounded in five core values articulated by founder Edgar S. Cahn in No More Throwaway People: The Co-Production Imperative:

  • Assets: We are all assets. Every person has something of value to offer.
  • Redefining Work: Some work is beyond price.
  • Reciprocity: Helping works better as a two-way street.
  • Social Networks: We need each other. People helping each other reweave communities of support, strength and trust.
  • Respect: Every human matters.  When respect is denied to any, all are injured.

Acting on these values our Time Bank fulfills its mission–promoting equality and building a caring, just and sustainable community economy through inclusive exchange of time and talent. The concept is simple. Members help someone for an hour, earn an hour of credit, and spend the credit on services offered by any other member. Reweaving community one exchange at a time, they document exchanges in an online database (http://sandbox.timebanks.org) and revitalize what Cahn calls “the core economy” on which the Market depends. The core economy includes:

  • Raising healthy children
  • Revitalizing neighborhoods
  • Making democracy work
  • Nurturing the spirit
  • Building strong families
  • Strengthening local economies
  • Advancing social justice
  • Making the planet sustainable

In the PBS documentary Fixing the Future, time bankers help each other weatherize homes, access medical care, eat healthier food and take sailing lessons (8-minute clip: http://video.pbs.org/video/1646871620/). They contribute to low-carbon lifestyles, reduce transportation costs and provide services within neighborhoods. They grow capacity for community groups, non-profits, small businesses, and government groups, serving schools, hospitals, churches, libraries, and court systems. They do so by

  • Offering groups an expanded pool of volunteers.
  • Providing something valuable groups can give back to volunteers.
  • Identifying and connecting unused community resources with unmet needs.
  • Incubating new businesses.
  • Facilitating restorative justice.
  • Lowering operational costs.
  • Keeping prices low for businesses, clients and customers.
  • Reducing medical expenses.
  • Helping elders age in place.
  • Mentoring & tutoring.
  • Offering internships and on-the-job training.
  • Reducing tax burdens.
  • Containing administrative costs.
  • Tracking volunteer hours for reporting in funding proposals.

Each of these benefits reverses the opportunity costs of not banking time.   In addition, paying volunteers in Time Bank Hours could support start-ups in underserved communities. A few potential examples come to mind:

  • Weatherization projects                        Solar installations
  • Urban farms                                            Plant nurseries
  • Food preparation and distribution    Canning and preserving
  • Water catchment                                   Backyard garden installation
  • Home building                                       Home repair

Any group aligned with the five core values may partner with a time bank:

In the spirit of reciprocity, Time Banking offers community partners:

  • A complementary currency, the Time Bank Hour, created by doing some work.
  • A means of rewarding unpaid work by converting it to goods and services.
  • A way to reactivate social capital that lies untapped within neighborhoods.
  • Proven models for co-producing each other’s operations.
  • A way to restore community values ignored by the market economy.

If you want to discuss the above ideas, Contact Tony Budak

What is Co-Production?

What is Co-Production?    
A Guest Post by Edgar S. Cahn

publisher’s note, This piece was extracted from What is Co-Production?, with four added hyper links.

Co-Production is the essential contribution to change efforts needed from the ultimate consumer in his or her capacity as student, client, recipient, patient, tenant, beneficiary, neighbor, resident, or citizen. Experience with Time Dollar programs leads to a hypothesis: Without Co-Production, nothing that professionals, organizations or programs do can fully succeed. With Co-Production, the impossible comes within reach. If this hypothesis is true, community-based groups, policymakers, and human service agencies must be convinced of the indispensability of that contribution, and they must begin to intentionally generate Co-Production from the recipients, targets, or consumers of their efforts. Reciprocity must be central to achieve social change. This is the Co-Production Imperative.

Co-Production is not simply a euphemism for expanding or enhancing specialized social services with free labor contributed by the consumer. Its function and its power are far more fundamental.

1) If undertaken as a priority and intentionally, Co-Production can yield new and more effective services and outcomes. It triggers processes and interactions that foster new behaviors. It alters conventional distinctions between producers and consumers, professionals and clients, providers and recipients, givers and takers, investors and managers. By creating parity for individuals and communities in their relationships with professional helpers, it achieves systemic change.

While Co-Production values what professionals have to offer, it also poses a challenge to prevailing notions of “best practice” to the extent that “our best thinking” has led us to where we are — paralyzed or frustrated by our inability to make inroads on major social problems because we have failed to incorporate Co-Production as a pervasive strategy that redefines roles, relationships, processes, and outcomes.

Yet as critical as It is, Co-Production-the essential labor needed from the ultimate consumer — is never fully funded and rarely directly funded, even partially. Instead, we fund specialized programs, professionals, outreach workers, and local organizations-paying staff while the extensive and essential labor from the individual, the household, or the community goes uncompensated.

2) We rarely lay out this inequity so explicitly. In part, that is because the cost of actually purchasing that labor at market prices, even at minimum wage, would be prohibitive. So we tiptoe around the issue, calling for “community involvement,” requiring “citizen participation” — without insisting on it too directly lest somebody ask us to pick up the real cost. (Think of the family as a good example of Co-Production)

3) Time Dollars are a mechanism for rewarding that reciprocity and converting that contribution into compensated labor. They are a mechanism for securing Co-Production.

4) Taken Co-Production Mainstream 

If you want to discuss the above ideas, Contact Tony Budak